We all love a training session with friends, chatting, and being sociable.

However…

Let’s face it, beneath the friendly exterior, a little healthy competition is always bubbling away.

The question is, what if your friends are actually faster, stronger and just generally better than you? Want to play the long game, or are you prepared to turn to the dark side and employ some sneaky tactics to give you the edge?

Well, keep this one quiet; here are 10 devious tricks to help beat your “friends”.

Note: I’ve been told by the Dark Horse legal team that I must include this disclaimer; we at Dark Horse do not recommend or condone these tactics and will deny their existence in a court of law.

Now leave your moral code here and let the games begin!!

1. Filling tires with water.

Okay, yes, we know that this obviously comes straight out of the “wow, that’s harsh” playbook. However, it is one of the most undetectable tricks in the cycling book.

You’ll need a little bit of forward planning, a bucket of water and a track pump, and then it’s simply a case of sucking the water into the pump and then blowing it into the tires of your friend’s bike.

Keep going until you are around 100psi, and by that point, you will have added enough water for them not to have noticed but seriously hamper their performance.

2. Changing seat height.

This one is a little quicker to carry out, especially if you are in the gym and your friend has a pretty religious bathroom schedule they must adhere to before starting a workout.

Reduce the height of their seat by 1cm or so (just enough to sow the seeds of doubt), and continually prompt them to pick up the pace during a workout.

As any good cyclist knows, an incorrect seating position is going to drop a couple of watts of power output every peddle stroke. It won’t be instant but long-term; you’re going to get a very competitive edge.

3. A well-positioned stone.

Obviously, we’re not looking to cause harm with these; however, like a violinist with the smallest of paper cuts, a stone in the shoe, especially one that’s small enough not to be noticed initially, will eventually work its way under the foot and cause all kinds of fun and games mid-workout.

This one is pure sneakiness at its finest, and if timed correctly, there is almost no way you should be seen as the cause of any issues.

4. Adequate hydration.

We all know the importance of well-balanced hydration, and sports nutrition plays a big part in that.

So why not help a friend out and get rid of the water-based electrolyte and carbohydrates in their water bottle and replace it with a better source of water-based electrolytes and carbohydrates – beer.

I’m not going to lie; if you can do this when out on a long ruck and you’ve filled their water bladder with beer, the look on your friend’s face is priceless.

5. A well-timed joke.

This next one relies on someone and a good sense of humor, and a good joke.

A well-timed joke, just before you push off from the wall during a swim training session or just before you start a climb during a run, is always guaranteed to have the recipient in stitches just at the point they would rather be exerting energy.

Use it sparingly but keep it in your back pocket for just the right moment, and you’re winning that workout.

6. The seat post grab.

Out for a long bike ride with stronger friends?

Well, that strength might as well be put to good use, and what better way than dragging you up the hill at the same time with a gently placed hand underneath their saddle?

Just gently position yourself behind them, hold on gently, and ease off on your peddle strokes.

What are friends for, if not to pull you up hills?

7. Grab and go.

In the same vein as number 6, every seasoned swimmer knows a well-timed grab and pull of your friend’s ankle when they are ahead of you in the water is going to result in them going back as you propel yourself forwards effortlessly.

Be warned with this one. If you use it too early in the workout, chances are you are going to be on the receiving end as the workout draws to a close.

8. Sit in on the flats.

For those who really love to exploit their friends when you are out on a hilly ride, it’s all about learning to be stealthy and crafty.

Sit in out of the wind on the flats so when the hills start, you are nice and fresh ready to spring your attack.

You’ll need all your ninja training to pull this one off frequently, and an idea of the route will definitely benefit you here.

9. Pantsing.

Okay, yes, we know not everyone has the mind of a 5-year-old; however, if you are like me and the thought of watching your friends struggle to hide their embarrassment mid-workout is hilarious, then this one sits near the top of the list.

I particularly love this one as your friend sets up for a squat. Puts the barbell on their back and takes a few steps back.

This is your perfect time to strike.

Pure deviousness at its finest.

10. Changing damper mid-workout.

For all those who thought they were immune to this behaviour because they enjoyed an indoor row workout. Guess what? I can still get you.

The classic moving the damper lever to 10 is both truly devious and guaranteed to give you a win.

The best thing with this is you can do it whilst sitting next to your friend (always sit on their right for obvious reasons) or casually stroll past and slide that lever up as high as it will go.

In doing this, you are not only stopping them from being able to tap it down with the handle, but you are also ensuring they have to stop, adjust the lever after unstrapping and then continue the workout.

I can get you all!!

Right, that should give you more than enough ways to win workouts at this point. We aren’t guaranteeing you will be keeping friends, so use these sparingly, and yes, we will deny all knowledge of your actions should your friends come asking!!